SeinQuotes

S01E01 - The Seinfeld Chronicles
00:15:19 Women need them. And they don't need one or two.
00:15:22 They need thousands of them. They need bags.
00:15:24 They're like peat moss bags. Have you ever seen these giant bags?
00:15:22 They need thousands of them. They need bags.
00:15:24 They're like peat moss bags. Have you ever seen these giant bags?
00:15:28 They're huge...
00:15:28 They're huge...
00:15:29 and two days later, they're out. They're gone. The bag is empty.
00:15:33 Where are the cotton balls, ladies? What are you doing with them?
00:15:44 Tortured, interrogated, l don't know what happened to them.
00:15:47 I once went out with a girl, she left a little bag of cotton balls at my house.
00:15:51 I didn't know what to do. l put them on the floor like little tumbleweeds.
00:16:42 It's all in the greeting. All right.
00:16:44 If she puts the bags down before she greets you, that's a good sign.
00:16:47 - Anything in the lip area is good. - Lip area.
00:17:28 - Sure, Laura, sure. - I can't believe you're here.
00:17:34 - Get the bags. - Yeah, sure, the bags.
00:17:37 - Here, Laura. l'm sorry. - Oh, thank you.
S02E04 - The Phone Message
00:02:22 You don't loiter around in front of the teller
00:02:23 holding that big bag of money.
00:02:25 You make your hit and get out.
00:18:38 No, what for?
00:18:40 I'll just give my bag to the doorman.
00:18:42 You know...
S02E07 - The Revenge
00:12:23 For some reason,
00:12:24 I decided to I hide it in my laundry bag,
00:12:26 and then I completely forgot about it,
S02E10 - The Baby Shower
00:11:54 Well, so, what should we do?
00:11:57 You know, shouldn't we at least drop off your bag?
00:12:02 Red shirt! Red shirt! That's the red shirt!
S02E11 - The Chinese Restaurant
00:01:04 Cops, I don't even care about cops.
00:01:06 I wanna see garbage men.
00:01:07 It's much more important. All I wanna see...
00:01:07 It's much more important. All I wanna see...
00:01:10 are garbage trucks, garbage cans and garbage men.
00:01:13 You're never gonna stop crime. We should at least be clean.
00:01:16 I tell you what they should do. They should combine the two jobs.
00:01:19 Make it one job. Cop/Garbage man.
00:01:23 I always see cops walking around with nothing to do. Grab a broom.
S02E12 - The Busboy
00:15:35 The kitchen?
00:15:36 Got a bag of cashews in there.
00:15:38 No, they're not in the kitchen. They're not in the kitchen.
S03E02 - The Truth
00:09:20 She put them in her pocketbook. I guess she took them with her.
00:09:23 Her pocketbook or her handbag?
00:09:24 Is that relevant?
S03E04 - The Dog
00:00:58 Oh, yes.
00:01:01 Yes, he's in the baggage compartment.
00:01:04 I don't know why they won't let him sit up here with me.
00:07:21 and I always see them walking along with
00:07:23 their little poop bags,
00:07:25 which to me is just the lowest function of human life.
S03E05 - The Library
00:10:28 or the kind of music he listens to.
00:10:30 Rock was never my bag. But you put on a pair of shoes
00:10:32 when you walk into the New York Public Library, fella.
S03E06 - The Parking Garage
00:03:48 I thought we came in over there.
00:03:50 How long can fish live in one of these plastic bags?
00:03:54 I don't know. Maybe two hours.
00:20:45 Oh, that could be a problem.
00:20:47 Where's your little bag of...
00:20:50 Oh.
S03E11 - The Alternate Side
00:08:41 You know they told me that they wanted me
00:08:43 to walk down the block carrying this bag of groceries.
00:08:45 So I start to walk, and I trip. And the grocery bag goes flying
00:08:43 to walk down the block carrying this bag of groceries.
00:08:45 So I start to walk, and I trip. And the grocery bag goes flying
00:08:49 and Woody-- Woody starts laughing.
S03E13 - The Subway
00:11:07 Yeah.
00:11:08 See, they've been sandbagging,
00:11:09 looking for a good spot.
00:18:55 Victor's Hoy's Boy followed by Jamet
00:18:57 Little Baggit, Kiss Harmony,
00:18:59 and then a long way to Flagrant. Independent of
S03E15 - The Suicide
00:01:36 Who could have given me ulcers?
00:01:40 I think I'll take out the garbage.
00:01:42 Have you ever fasted?
00:01:52 Hey. Do me a favor, will you?
00:01:55 Throw out my garbage for me.
00:01:58 Yeah. Right.
00:02:09 I'll give you 50 cents.
00:02:10 There's no way I'd touch that bag for less than $2.
00:02:13 Come on, 50 cents. You can get yourself a Drake's Coffee Cake.
S03E16 - The Fix-Up
00:12:46 No, thanks. They look like they came out of a cereal box.
00:12:49 Hey, come on, Elaine, here. Take half a bag.
00:12:52 Gotta, gotta.
00:12:52 Gotta, gotta.
00:12:53 Half a bag?
00:12:56 What am I, a hooker?
00:13:24 And if you go like this--
00:13:27 He puts them in the bag for you. That's it.
00:13:30 Show up there, you put
S03E20 - The Good Samaritan
00:16:58 I'll bash your skull into a vegematic
00:17:00 like a bad cabbage,
00:17:01 and I'll have a party on your head!
S04E01 - The Trip (1)
00:07:04 Really? Yeah.
00:07:06 What do you have in your bag, sir?
00:07:07 In my bag?
00:07:06 What do you have in your bag, sir?
00:07:07 In my bag?
00:07:09 Step over here, please.
00:07:09 Over here?
00:07:11 Do you have a knife in the bag?
00:07:12 A knife?
00:07:12 A knife?
00:07:14 Open the bag, please.
00:07:20 What's this?
00:18:16 "to replace an old dying cat.
00:18:18 "And second of all, I go out to the garbage,
00:18:20 I'll find you a new cat in 15 seconds."
00:21:15 So, um, I'm going through the airport,
00:21:18 and I have to put my bag on that little, uh...
00:21:21 the, uh...
S04E02 - The Trip (2)
00:09:40 Great.
00:09:43 There's a bag
00:09:44 of Pepperidge Farm cookies up there.
S04E03E04 - The Pitch-The Ticket
00:01:10 Did they--? Did they carry it
00:01:12 in rolls in their duffel bags?
00:01:13 Everything with you comes down to toilet paper.
S04E05 - The Wallet
00:06:57 I threw it
00:06:59 in the garbage can on the street.
00:07:00 It didn't keep good time.
00:21:19 You know where I got this?
00:21:21 I found it in the garbage can.
00:21:26 It kept terrible time.
S04E06 - The Watch
00:01:16 Where'd you get that watch?
00:01:18 I found it in the garbage can.
00:01:20 What kind of an idiot
00:08:34 I know you're all very busy.
00:08:36 So you found that watch in a garbage can, huh?
00:08:39 Yeah. In fact, it was right after I ran into you.
S04E10 - The Virgin
00:13:34 Something happened to the food?
00:13:37 Could only save one bag.
00:13:38 Should I call an ambulance? Want to see a doctor?
S04E12 - The Airport
00:02:20 You're giving him $10?
00:02:21 Well, we got three bags.
00:02:22 That's a pretty big tip.
00:02:37 what you usually get for a tip.
00:02:38 Depends on the person, depends on the bag.
00:02:40 Well, how about a couple people like us?
00:02:48 Well, since you asked...
00:02:49 usually I get $5 a bag.
00:02:53 What?
00:02:54 That's right.
00:02:55 Five dollars a bag?
00:02:56 I don't think so.
00:05:12 Ah.
00:05:13 I never check my bags.
00:05:15 Can't stand that waiting in the baggage area.
00:05:13 I never check my bags.
00:05:15 Can't stand that waiting in the baggage area.
00:05:17 Yeah. Great. Yeah.
00:06:06 That gives 'em just enough time
00:06:07 to get off the plane, pick up their bags,
00:06:09 and be walking out of the terminal
00:21:01 I don't see them anywhere.
00:21:02 I got my bags. I'm ready to go.
00:21:05 Yeah, you got your bags.
00:21:02 I got my bags. I'm ready to go.
00:21:05 Yeah, you got your bags.
00:21:14 That was the worst flight
S04E18 - The Old Man
00:07:56 What's all this stuff?
00:07:57 Trash, garbage.
00:07:59 You're throwing this out?
00:08:01 I believe that's what you do
00:08:03 with garbage, you idiot.
00:08:07 You don't want any of this?
00:14:10 It's like watching a couple of hyenas
00:14:12 going through the garbage.
00:14:15 You don't speak any English?
00:15:01 Well, turn the light on.
00:15:04 That's the garbage disposal!
00:15:09 My teeth!
00:18:28 Uh, well, his false teeth got mangled up
00:18:31 in the garbage disposal.
00:18:32 What were his false teeth doing in the garbage disposal?
00:18:31 in the garbage disposal.
00:18:32 What were his false teeth doing in the garbage disposal?
00:18:34 Well, after he bit my friend--
S04E21 - The Smelly Car
00:00:03 Whenever you ask for the doggy bag in a restaurant,
00:00:04 there's a certain sense of failure there, isn't it?
00:00:11 "I'm sorry,
00:00:12 "you're gonna have to give me the doggy bag. I--
00:00:15 I couldn't make it."
00:00:17 And it is embarrassing,
00:00:19 because a doggy bag means either you were out at a restaurant
00:00:21 when you're not hungry, or you've chosen
00:00:26 that there is.
00:00:27 How about the doggy bag on a date?
00:00:30 That's a good move for a guy, huh?
00:00:32 Let me tell you something.
00:00:33 If you're a guy, and you ask for the doggy bag on a date,
00:00:35 you might as well have them just wrap up your genitals too.
S04E23E24 - The Pilot
00:18:45 ...Banlon and seeing people running for their lives.
00:18:48 She loves throwing garbage out the window, yet she's extremely dainty.
00:18:53 How would she eat a hamburger?
S05E02 - The Puffy Shirt
00:07:31 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm terribly sorry.
00:07:34 Look what you've done. You've spilled my bag.
00:07:35 Here, let me help you.
S05E05 - The Bris
00:15:19 I'm dreading walking back to the subway,
00:15:21 someone shouldn't smack me and steal my bag.
00:15:23 Because I'll be lying there
00:17:00 This is not a school play!
00:17:02 This is not a baggy pants farce! This is a bris.
00:17:05 A sacred, ancient ceremony
S05E11 - The Conversion
00:22:30 Mmm-mwah!
00:22:34 I'd like a doggie bag for this, please.
S05E14 - The Marine Biologist
00:13:07 Typical rich people
00:13:09 using the world for their personal garbage can.
00:13:11 Boy, am I lucky your name came up.
S05E15 - The Pie
00:09:33 You obviously like pies.
00:09:35 You carry donuts in your bag.
00:09:36 You're not averse to pastry.
S05E18E19 - The Raincoats
00:14:25 You think you're gonna sell those old, crappy raincoats?
00:14:28 That's garbage.
00:14:29 HELEN: I guarantee you,
S06E02 - The Big Salad
00:08:52 Oh, no reason.
00:08:56 Because, you know, she handed you the bag.
00:08:58 I could have handed you the bag.
00:08:56 Because, you know, she handed you the bag.
00:08:58 I could have handed you the bag.
00:09:00 But she happened to pick it up
00:18:08 Huh? Huh?
00:18:11 George, all I did was hand someone a bag.
00:18:21 It's just that my boss is very demanding,
S06E03 - The Pledge Drive
00:01:55 Okay. Yeah, all right.
00:01:57 That sounds good, but I still get a tote bag though.
00:01:59 And one of those foam beer can holders.
00:17:54 No, you can have it.
00:18:09 -Where are the tote bags? -I don't know.
00:18:11 I'm not leaving the premises without tote bags.
00:18:09 -Where are the tote bags? -I don't know.
00:18:11 I'm not leaving the premises without tote bags.
00:18:13 I was promised tote bags, and tote bags I shall have.
00:18:11 I'm not leaving the premises without tote bags.
00:18:13 I was promised tote bags, and tote bags I shall have.
00:18:17 Jerry, this, uh, man wants to see you.
S06E04 - The Chinese Woman
00:00:46 Good shave today.
00:00:47 Don't worry, jerry, I can manage these bags.
00:00:49 Really, I'm fine.
00:09:43 How do you wear these things?
00:09:45 They're bagging up. They're rising here.
00:09:47 And there's nothing holding me in place.
S06E06 - The Gymnast
00:08:18 One little bite.
00:08:20 Well...that's garbage.
00:08:24 But I know who took the bite.
00:09:57 No, lindsay, it was not
00:09:59 in the garbage. It was above the garbage,
00:10:02 hovering, like an angel.
00:10:12 Listen, can I tell you something else?
00:10:14 In my family, we ate out of the garbage all the time.
00:10:16 It was no big thing.
S06E09 - The Secretary
00:05:30 regarding the switch to canola oil for the stadium popcorn,
00:05:33 and surprisingly, it will only cost a half a cent more per bag,
00:05:35 so it is definitely doable.
00:09:54 you don't wanna skimp on the swank.
00:09:56 I like your little bag.
00:09:56 Huh?
S06E11 - The Switch
00:10:10 So you know the name now, huh?
00:10:11 The cat--Meow!--is out of the bag.
00:10:16 Well, I gotta hand it to you.
S06E16 - The Beard
00:08:44 ...because I have no Tupperware.
00:08:46 -What about a plastic bag? -You must be kidding.
00:08:50 What is the difference?
S06E18 - The Doorman
00:10:03 -Does your back hurt? -How did you know?
00:10:06 Well, it's obvious. You're carrying a lot of extra baggage up there.
00:10:10 -Up here? -Oh, yeah, top floor.
S06E22 - The Diplomat's Club
00:12:39 -I don't have that kind of dough. -Sure you do.
00:12:42 Oh, no, no, no, no. Not the bag.
00:12:44 Help me, man. I'm desperate.
00:15:57 Here's my collateral.
00:16:01 So it's a mailbag. So what?
00:16:03 So what?
00:16:03 So what?
00:16:04 Do you know whose mailbag that is?
00:16:08 David Berkowitz.
S06E23 - The Face Painter
00:08:57 You know how fast things deteriorate...
00:08:59 when there's an "l love you" out of the bag?
00:09:01 You can't have a relationship where one person says, "l love you"...
S07E05 - The Hot Tub
00:02:13 Yeah, that's him.
00:02:14 He's from, uh, Trinidad and Tobago, right?
00:02:16 Yeah, yeah. He's Trinidadian and Tobagan.
00:02:14 He's from, uh, Trinidad and Tobago, right?
00:02:16 Yeah, yeah. He's Trinidadian and Tobagan.
00:02:22 How do you oversleep at the Olympics?
S07E09 - The Sponge
00:19:48 I can't get a good grip here.
00:19:50 You got to do it like a bag of chips.
00:19:51 No, here, give it to me.
S07E11 - The Rye
00:14:48 - Fifty-three. - Fifty-three.
00:14:51 I'd like a marble rye. No plastic. In a bag.
00:14:54 You're lucky, it's our last one.
00:16:24 - I want that rye, lady. - Help! Someone help!
00:16:27 - Shut up, you old bag. - Stop, thief!
00:16:30 Stop him! Stop him, he's got my marble rye.
S07E14E15 - The Cadillac
00:29:47 Help! Someone help!
00:29:48 Shut up, you old bag.
00:29:50 Oh. Thief. Thief!